When I first moved in with my current wife and kids, the girls didn’t take it lightly.  There were tears and anger. For years I tried my best to not replace their father and just be an adult in the house.  It was hard and I wasn’t successful many times.  The way I raised my children and the way my wife raised hers are almost polar opposites.  So I had to adapt. I never wanted to replace their father.  It took years and the disrespect was amazing.  I had no authority even as an adult.

That was then.

I stayed my coarse and remained supportive and helpful.  Recently, the youngest wanted to learn Dutch (her mom is from the Netherlands).  One of the first words she learned was step-father.  She’s also started to refer to me as a step-father to her friends instead of just Mark. The oldest is in college. I meet with her every other week to give her an allowance. I got my first hug from her in the 9 years I’ve been in her life.

I stayed consistent and held to my guns.  There are now two girls out there who know I love them and will always be there for them.  I also have two of my own that I have no communication with, but I still write to them every day.  I love all four equally. And I love my wife for giving me the opportunity to be part of her girl’s lives.