I’m starting a new project. Hopefully I can see it all the way through. I’m creating an audio version of the first 164 pages of the Big Book. I’m starting with the reading that my sponsor has assigned me. I’m sure others would like having this, so here it is. You can download the… Continue reading AA Big Book pgs 83-89
I’m very split after hearing a report this morning on NPR. ESPN will be airing a documentary this coming Sunday concerning the Duke Lacrosse team scandal from a few years ago. When the story broke back then, the three Duke players were crucified publicly because of one woman’s testimony. But then the public story died.… Continue reading False Accusations Should Be Prosecuted
I know it’s been a while since I’ve written in this blog. You can only complain and confess so many times before the story gets old. Recent events in my rental room arrangement have rehashed some of the old feelings and experiences I’ve been through. I won’t go into detail considering it’s someone else’s story… not… Continue reading Recent Events
I’ve always found it difficult to sleep. Since the “event”, it seems even harder. It seems the only way to go to sleep is to intoxicate and medicate. According to my doctor, I’m putting enough in my system to take down a horse. I shared half of one of my sleeping pills with my wife… Continue reading Drinking and Sleeping
I brushed my teeth this morning. I got dressed and got into work. I’ve been up since 5:30. I exist. Depression is a subtle description of my existence. Just the thought that my daughter doesn’t want to see me breaks my heart every day. I exist and maintain the illusion that I’m doing well. I… Continue reading A New Day
A few weeks ago, I revisited my divorce decree. I’m still reeling from the judges findings. The ex went so far as to accuse me of voodoo which the judge admitted as evidence without any proof. She said I was being investigated for poisoning her during our marriage, but there was no documentation. I got… Continue reading Life in Limbo
This morning thoughts of Dad came up. Memories of spending the last week of his life with him. I remember forcing the anti-seizure medications in him even though he could barely swallow any more. I remember watching him gasp for air towards the end. Worst of all I remember helping the coroner move his body… Continue reading Thinking of Dad
Dealing with my son’s 16th birthday was hard enough. I write a blog with a letter to them every day. This morning I was faced with a hard reality. I want them to rile against their mother. I want them to hate her for the injustice she has done to them. How dare she take… Continue reading A hard week
When I started my new life as an astranged father, I tried to do it on my own. I had no desire to depend on anything other than my own self-will. It didn’t take long for me to realize the absence of my children was affecting me more than I could have ever anticipated. And… Continue reading Medications
When I first moved in with my current wife and kids, the girls didn’t take it lightly. There were tears and anger. For years I tried my best to not replace their father and just be an adult in the house. It was hard and I wasn’t successful many times. The way I raised my… Continue reading A spin unexpected
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