I know I’ve put most of my story in previous posts.  But the daily effects still knock me for a loop. I’m scheduled for a psychiatrist in a few weeks. I’ll try to be good and be honest.  I hope I can find a few answers on how to deal with my issues.

I’m on several medications.  Two for the shakes and one to help me sleep. They also work as anti-depressants. But I still wake up at 4 every morning.  I’m haunted by thoughts of my children. Sometimes they are missing me. Other times, I can feel their anger at me for “abandoning” them. Sometimes I just sit down and cry.

I should be more worried about them, but I’m mostly busy just trying to stay alive.  I need to keep showing up for work. I need to keep functioning. It’s hard. If my ex wanted to see me destroyed, she did a very efficient job.

These are the effects of Parental Alienation. The abuse is on the children and on the alienated parent alike.  It only serves the purpose of an abusive, self-serving parent that lacks enough self-esteem to survive without blaming everyone else.

I’d like to say I feel better after this rant, but I don’t.  I think I’ll build something and try to do something good. Maybe that will help.