A few weeks ago, I revisited my divorce decree. I’m still reeling from the judges findings. The ex went so far as to accuse me of voodoo which the judge admitted as evidence without any proof. She said I was being investigated for poisoning her during our marriage, but there was no documentation. I got railroaded. In the end I had two pieces of proof. CPS said nothing happened and so did the doctor. It doesn’t appear that real evidence matters.

Nine years later, I can only write on a blog and wonder how my children are growing up. I go to my doctor. I go to my psychiatrist. I go to work. I’m only half full without them in my life. And people wonder why I cry for no reason. I miss my children. How can a woman do this and get away with it? Especially after 14 years of marriage. I built her 3 houses and raised her children. As soon as I went to visit my parents, she turned. At least I got to be at my parent’s deathbed’s. That is something I’ll never regret. I drive dad’s car now which is a constant reminder of him. Their furniture and kitchen stuff is in my house. What was the trade worth? The ex always told me it was either them or her. I just never imagined she would be so vindictive. So now I’m broken and living in limbo waiting.

Joseph is 16. In two years, my child support will reduce. He’ll be 18 and out from underneath Mom’s wing. Do you think he’ll reach out? Or will Lucia push the teenage envelope and rebel? I just know if they ever search, they’ll find me. I left my digital footprint all over the internet.

Today is one of those days I miss being a father.