A common concept talked about in several different therapy groups is “living in the present”. This is a nice phrase and might seem an easy concept, but in reality it’s quite difficult to execute. The idea is that I live in this moment and not in the past or future.  Why?  Dwelling on the past or pondering the future accomplishes nothing.

How is it possible to live in anything other than the present? Well, here’s a good example. This morning on my way in to work, I started to think about the day ahead of me. I started to think about who I’m going to talk to and the conversations I’ll have. This includes my boss and co-workers. I got so detailed into these conversations I was planning responses for all the different comments. Before I knew it, I was half-way to work and hadn’t even paid attention to a single thing around me on the highway. Wow… where did the last 20 miles go? And I missed the sunrise. One moment it was dark, the next everything was light and I missed my favorite moment of the day… the sunrise. That is a perfect case of living in the future.

Another example is the second half of my drive to work. I started to think about a recent letter from the Attorney General concerning my child support. I started to stress about how the changes are going to affect things in my life. I added up my paycheck and pondered over and over how I can make it work. Even took it so far as to go back to the court hearing and pondered what I could have done that would have resulted in a different outcome. Wow… I’m at work already. Sure am glad no one cut in front of me on the highway. I would have likely plowed them over.

This is a clear cut example of NOT living in the present. What is the present? Technically, we live as human beings constrained to four dimensions of existence. The three dimensions are clear cut as we can put our hand in front of us and move it up and down, sideways, and closer and further from us. The fourth dimension is time. We can consider ourselves riding a one way ticket through the time continuum at a constant rate. Due to limitations of our physical bodies and minds, we are unable to perceive moments outside of the slice of the time continuum we traverse. That is reserved for beings a bit higher up the ladder… like God. So the present is best defined as this moment right now. And this moment is NEVER the same. It is continuously changing.

Now, that is a bit dry and high-brow, but it’s the best way I know how to explain it. But to apply it to this concept, here are my suggestions. Our past is important. It makes the experiences that are largely responsible for who we are today. My past mistakes and successes are all lessons I can learn from. If I’ve made a mistake in the past, I can learn from it. I might even feel bad or guilty for something I’ve done. That is human to feel regret. But, if we apply the Serenity Prayer to this, it can take on new meaning. When I find myself weighed down by guilt, I ask myself some simple questions… Is there any damage from my mistake that I need to repair? Is there anything I can do at this moment to repair the damage? If so, then do it… make amends where necessary. If not, then why am I worrying about it. The lesson is learned, the moment is past… let it go and move on. I can’t change the past by worrying about it.

The same approach can be made to the future. If I find myself worrying about a coming event, I ask myself the same questions… Is there anything I need to do at this moment to prepare? If I’m worried about forgetting something, then I write it down somewhere I will be reminded. Otherwise, handle what’s necessary to prepare and let it go.

The entire goal here is to realize that by worrying about the past or future, I completely miss out on this precious moment we were given by God. A rather crude saying puts this in perspective: A man with one foot in the past and the other in the future only pisses on the present.

The key to this whole concept is to prevent you from worrying about things. Worrying doesn’t fix or do ANYTHING. If you find yourself worrying about something, just apply the Serenity Prayer, execute whatever needs immediate action, then MOVE ON and enjoy life. This is how to handle guilt, fear, anger, and a whole host of negative emotions that plague us and make life difficult.