Don’t take yourself so serious when you’re down. Dealing with the hard times in life are a particular problem. Our demon is actually a typical response to emotional trauma… people find they do better in emergency situations. There’s a bit of a hypochondriac in all of us. When we are sick, we can get away with things that we normally wouldn’t consider. I do it all the time. These are best described as a “pity party”. In AA there’s a saying: “Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another drink.” Pity parties are self perpetuating and it generally takes a swift kick in the ass from a loved one to get out of one.

It starts with feeling bad or guilty about something. Then as a result, you let other things pass that should have been handled. Then you feel guilty about that. Then you start to feel guilty about allowing guilt to cripple you. Oi… makes my head hurt but you get the idea.

When medical or social emergencies arise, I will frequently rise above my normal abilities to help or deal with things. It’s easy to let the small things go and just focus on the crisis. But, when that crisis is done, I’m left feeling empty and bored. I miss the excitement of being special.

Sadly enough, I typically remember the moments of crisis in my life as the pivotal points. It’s easy to miss the fact that life happens in between those points. Those normal days of mild events that are the glue that string together the crisis moments. It wasn’t until I was able to appreciate the quiet days that the loud days were put into perspective. It really helped when I was at the Salvation Army and didn’t own anything. I found pleasure in the most simple things in life. It was a thrill for me to be able to ride the bus downtown and just walk around. I loved going to the library and just browse all the books. I enjoyed chatting with strangers and learning who they are. My life is just one of many billion lives all happening at the same time. When I learned my own insignificance, I was able to see my uniqueness. Strange, I know, but true. I always wanted to stand out and be special. I always thought I’m smarter than anyone else, or more talented. In all actuality, EVERYONE is special in some way. Everyone has some unique skill or ability or talent that makes them special. And in that way, no one is special, but we all are.

I was finally able to see that daily life can be the same. Find what’s special in the small things that make up the daily glue of my life. Each day is special in it’s own right, but the same as all the rest. It all boils down to living in the present and appreciating this moment for what it is. Not worrying about how long this moment will last, or regretting I didn’t do something earlier. I have now and that’s it.

That will be my next topic to dive into more deeply. Until then… focus on your emotions and just try to identify them and how they are affecting your actions. Your emotions don’t control you, they just inform you what’s going on. You don’t control them, you just listen to them