Powerlessness… this flies in the face of today’s societal norm of control. I’ve always thought once I get my emotions under control, I’ll be ok. That’s putting the cart before the horse. I learn through practice. If I practice doing things like getting out and active, I’ll eventually want to. If I wait for my emotions to be better, it will be a long wait. Instead, just do it, and let my emotions follow.

I CHOOSE to make today a good day. Even if I’m sad or not in a good place emotionally, I make the conscious decision to make today a good day.

The key to this is to recognize why my emotions are sad and just say “ok… this is why I feel bad.” Then I assess… is there anything I can do to fix it at this moment. If so, then I take care of business. The trick is if I see there isn’t, then I just need to let it go. I can’t fix anything by worrying about it.

That is the heart of the serenity prayer. Letting go of the things you can’t change. It’s really quite peaceful and liberating.

Just try this for now. Every few minutes ask yourself what you are feeling. Not thinking… but feeling. Don’t worry about doing anything about it… just recognize your emotional state. It’s taken me years to separate my emotions from my thought patterns. It starts by taking an emotional inventory on a regular basis. Eventually, it builds into a habit. That way, I found I was able to keep from sinking into a lazy funk.

Example: How do I feel? I am sad. Result: I want to just sit here and watch TV or fiddle at the computer. Conscious thought: ok… so I’m sad… why? I miss my children. Can I do anything about it? No. Ok… then what should I do? I need to work on my CNC algorithm… ok… then just start on it.

Ten minutes later: How do I feel? Excited. Conscious thought: ok… so why am I excited? Because I just figured out a really cool programming trick. Hmmm… beats the crap out of being sad.
Etc…

BTW… that is my demon. My children were taken by their mother. I never got to say goodbye. I’m prevented by their mother to ever even visit, write or call them due to a legal trick she pulled that is out of my hands to change. The despair was overwhelming, so I shrunk into my insanity and sought solace in vodka. The psych ward wasn’t just for drinking. Turns out there were a host of other psychological issues.

I’ve now gone over 2 years with no medication, vodka or any mind altering substance. My voices are manageable. The key was learning to “listen”. Understand, there are still days I can’t get past crying for my kids, but on those days, I recognize my disability and work around it. All this is just so you get an understanding of where you are getting advice from.

I tell people I’ve been in hell and didn’t like it. It’s true. For me to lose my mind was the worst hell. I’ll fight all the demons of hell before going back there again. But as a result, I walked away knowing I have no fear of anything this world can drum up. Been there… done it… walked away with my soul intact and stronger than before. Maybe I can share some of what I’ve learned… hence, this message I share with you.